Who said it would be easy?

People so often seem to look at me as a strong person, a man of faith, of little doubt or a leader to be trusted.

It seems that I am a man of a certain charisma, possessing a persona that seems to offer confidence to others around me.

Right now though, I find myself plagued with doubt and I need to speak belief.

I need to speak belief over my life and over my mind.

I am only subject to an attack, just like any other believer.

An attack of the mind that tells me I am not good enough, that God doesn’t love me, that He is not a promise-keeper. All of these, I know are lies, but somehow the truth that I know in my knower seems to be trapped and not exuding through my heart, mind, soul and body.

Now this may be due to me having a bad night’s sleep followed by an injection of toxic stuff to control rheumatoid arthritis this morning, both combining to mess me up somewhat today. Maybe that is why I feel “out of step” with the Spirit.

I seem to remember hearing Jeff Lucas speak about times when he suffers the impact of a bad cold or jet lag and has just about learned to accept that there are days-many days- when one can just feel out of step and have to accept it as a physical thing, not a demonic attack and hold onto the truth which is unchanging.

It is NOT about feelings!!!

I do take a rather extreme cocktail of toxic and/or exotic prescription drugs to control or at least slow the progression of rheumatoid arthritis.

I have things stuck on my mind that I try to rest with Jesus but cannot quite let go of…hence the bad night.

Someone who is very dear to me (let’s call them A) is still very unhappy with a person we are close(ish) to (let’s ball them B) and who seems to demonstrate worryingly untrustworthy traits whilst acting in a senior position of trust. I have set myself in a place of deciding to set such things to one side as I am far from perfect and God is our judge. I know that He brings all things into the light that are committed in darkness and so, you may say naively, I have decided by will to set such things to one side and look for the good, for the common ground and to stand alongside B to love and encourage them.

Is this a selfish decision?

Is it foolish?

I have decided that if they are just manipulating me for their own agenda, then it is they that will be standing before God to account for this, just as I will be for my own actions. I also know that some of us will be judged more severely than others.

I had said to A that this person is changing and that we must love him and support him, but she is hurt and hurting and I am not sure where to go from here apart from pray.

Over the last two years, we have seen a lot of people hurt and still in the healing process as a result of mistakes and manipulation. We found ourselves in the unsought position of being sought out by the hurt and wounded and just want a break from it. We know someone else (lets call them C) who seems almost crushed by the burden of the wounded and do not want to get to the same place.

I think that A struggles to lay all this down and trust (as is my choice).

We can only be responsible for our own emotional response, can’t we?

Surely we must forgive and release or we wound ourselves, we don’t have to forget necessarily but we must forgive.

I have been given so many chances by my Father through the blood of Christ, how can I not make a decision to forgive?

Surely, if that means I get trampled on or beaten up by walking this path, then so be it…that’s my daily cross isn’t it?

The thing is, that this is my choice and I cannot impose my decision on A.

Also, maybe it is me that is the fool and that A is right…

I just hate the pain they are in, the anger which A manifests is driven by seeing recent and current examples of continued lies and acts of mistrust by B…

I think old habits can die hard.

What to do, what to do?

I think that I hear the scripture ringing around in my head from Matthew 18:15, which is a no brainer given the authority that person B has and how as a rule things never seem to go well (at least in the short term) for anyone who goes this route. In fact, having already done this once before we are in an interesting place even now…

What to do, what to do?

My bible tells me though, that I am right, my Matthew 18: 15 consideration is a blessed thought as any desire or drive to bring peace is surely blessed according to Jesus when He spoke that day long ago on a mount (Matthew 5:9).

It has been a hard day facing down a strange attack of the mind, working through old emotion that had been dealt with (or so I thought).

I am grateful for David’s honest Psalms that I can sing or speak out His own poetic prayers and personalise these charismatic confessions. I find myself asking my soul why it is downcast within me and begin to remember His great kindness.

And above all, we have the voice of Jesus calling us, “Come unto me all you who labour and heavy laden and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11: 28).

Trusting Him and loving others.

Who said it would be easy?

Treasures in the Storm

Jesus never said that we would be shielded from storms. If anyone who says they follow Jesus says otherwise, I recommend that you lovingly buy them a bible and then sit down and read it with them.

Storms will come.

It’s where you have built your lighthouse, a metaphor for your living faith.

Build it on the Rock- a metaphor for God -as although you may get battered, you won’t get washed away.

Don’t build it on the sand as the foundations will shift and move and slide from beneath you.

Shalom.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.

You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. James 1:2-8 …I would rather be the lighthouse planted into The Rock than the wave smashed on The Rock. I may shudder as the waves crash in but, “God is strong, and he wants me strong. So I will take everything the Master has set out for me, well-made weapons of the best materials. And I will put them to use so I will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws my way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that I’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. ” Eph 6:10-12 I am not there yet, I may never be this side of heaven (and no- I am not speaking failure over myself…), but I will seek to be as Jesus, by the Spirit in me, so that I too will sleep through the storm knowing that when I awake (or am awakened), I will get to my feet (for I have the power of Christ in me), tell the wind, “Silence!” and the waves, “Quiet down!” and they will do it. Then, when I see Jesus face to face He will say, “You trusted me.” (Luke 8:22-26)

Why I don’t believe in Christian Accountability | A Response

An important article by Mike Breen.

Why I don’t believe in Christian Accountability | A Response.

This got me thinking about a matter that weighs on me.

Accountability…why are so many of us so bad at this?

I am afraid that I know/have known leaders and pastors in the Body of Christ who speak about the need for Christian accountability but in the end I have found that they are not living in a cloud of Glory but a mess of smoke and mirrors.

I have seen a beautiful church plant wither painfully into the dust due to manipulative leadership who were careful not to permit any members who acted as elders of the church to be trustees of the charity…different stories to different people who it seemed God would not tolerate. I have seen people take years to recover enough from this abusive situation to risk trusting God in a church again whilst also praying for some who are not yet able and have effectively ditched their faith…God in His grace seemed to pant another church out of the withering one before she was seen to be terminal. He seemed to somehow cut off the good from the plant and re-potted it in good soil.

Wonderful that He knows what He is doing.

I am thankful.

I serve a wonderful God and struggle daily with a call to be accountable myself. It is too easy to claim accountability whilst just telling different people different stories and thus give the appearance of being accountable and reliable.

I have seen valuable ministries and marriages almost destroyed by such.

I have seen a pastor surrounded by tame yes-people who never seem to offer those correctives so desperately needed leading and thus leading a fellowship that never met its potential sue to the endless waves of “comers and goers”. Where unsettled Christians from other churches joined, got to know the lay of the land and went again…probably never finding rest…

We have to pray and seek wisdom and grace, every day.

I am making a decision to be where God seems to have called me and to trust Him.

He is good at shining light on our sin and be sure that He loves justice.

No one said it was easy or going to be easy. Jesus certainly never said it would be easy.

He told us to take up our cross, daily.

The Serenity prayer just sprung to mind….you know:

“God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed.

Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.”

I surrender to His will, or at least I try to.

We must trust and submit to Him and pray for those He has called to serve us in leadership but not be stupid.

This is a bit of a ramble I am afraid, with me struggling to say stuff that I am not sure how to share so I will quit for now and post this. Maybe I will pick out the bones and repost at a later date or maybe I won’t.

I will keep praying though…

Shalom.

Fear God? by Regina

 I don’t plan to repost every one of Mrs Frost’s blogs but right now, it seems to me that Jesus is speaking through her.

Maybe He is just speaking to me, but I don’t think so…

Fear God?.    

 What do YOU think?

Best Friends Forever

You should read this blog by George Hach, we share the same BFF…

http://georgehachmyblog.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/120116george-hachs-journalmonday/

Image via Wikipedia

Promise to Care

Isaiah 54

(5) For your Maker is your husband,
the LORD of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.

Whilst specifically this book was spoken to His people in Judah and most specifically Jerusalem, it is in the bible for more than historical interest and more than evidence of the plans laid for the coming Messiah.

As I have already said, I believe that God is telling us to appropriate these promises for ourselves and taken as words spoken to you and me that can be all a bit weird and difficult to get hold of for most men, perhaps it’s easier if your a married woman reading this but I guess that depends on your experience of marriage…

I think the use of the word Husband meant far more to the Jewish audience than to many people today who don’t understand the significance God attributes to marriage, the ideal state for us.

The Torah is clear is saying “A man who does not marry is not a complete person” and Jesus certainly spent time putting the religious leaders of the day straight about His Father’s view on it by going back to scripture to point to Adam and Eve.

Consider that God is pointing to the covenant He has made with us.

The duties of a husband within the covenant were to protect and provide for his bride and that, I believe is what God wants you to get hold of deep within you. He promises to care for you, protect you, provide for you, care for your emotional needs and will always love you.

After all, elsewhere He tells us that “He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Then, just in case you have begun to think that your problems are bigger than God, He reminds us that He is the Lord of Hosts, our Redeemer, the God of the whole earth.

Have you got that?

He is bigger than your struggles.

He is the God of the heavens and the earth, Lord over all.

There is none mightier.

So don’t worry and don’t get all caught up in works theology.

He has it all in control if your keeping on track with Him, and if your not then do the sensible thing, stop hiding and say sorry because His love for you brings more mercy and grace than you could imagine.

What’ s more, remember that He disciplines those He loves, He is so good!!

Also remember that we do what we do because of what Hs has done for us, we cannot work our way into His love. He doesn’t need our help but He loves it when we do.

I am thankful that it all depends on Him and not me, so I try to be obedient, love God and my neighbour and hold things lightly and when I get it wrong, thinking its all up to me or all wrapped up in worry, I am thankful He will never leave me.

I am thankful for His grace, mercy and love.

Are you?

Are you ready?

This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad!

Remember the promises in Isaiah 54 are for you.

Expect great things of God.

Expect the fertile ground that you have fought so hard to take, yet standing still for so long will quickly become your field of harvest.

Expect this to be the “Now Time” of the Lord.

Are you ready?

Are you ready to pray for Kingdom breakout?

Are you ready to disciple new disciples?

The next wave is coming, will you be blessed or washed away?

Are you ready?

Are you singing songs of praise and wonder?

Are you making ready for the newcomer and stranger?
(1) Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married, says the LORD.

(2) Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.
Set aside unforgiveness and love as Jesus loves you.

Set aside personal ambition and serve as Jesus serves you.

Set aside judgement of your neighbour and accept as Jesus accepts you.

Are you ready?

Future Glory, coming close…

I am always very cautious about prophetic suggestions spilling out at the start of a year but I have this thing jumping up and down in me.

I heard someone paraphrase Graham Cooke as “You die by your prophesy.” I think that is to say, when people do not respond you feel like dying, it’s always a risk to speak out.

Still John Wimber said that Faith is spelled R-I-S-K so that’s good enough for me.

I think, I believe actually, that God might have said something to me for His bride.

It’s the promises in Isaiah 54. I think that the Lord wants us to take these to our heart and expect Him to move.

¹ “Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the LORD.
² “Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
³ For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

⁴ “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
⁵ For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
⁶ The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your God.
⁷ “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
⁸ In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,”
says the LORD your Redeemer.

⁹ “To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.
¹⁰ Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

¹¹ “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,^[a]
your foundations with lapis lazuli.
¹² I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
¹³ All your children will be taught by the LORD,
and great will be their peace.
¹⁴ In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.
¹⁵ If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

¹⁶ “See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;
¹⁷ no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the LORD.

I believe that He expects us to expect Him to move soon.

I believe that I have now found myself prompted to break this down and spell out what I think He is saying through this and have done so for the last two days now and will add these as following posts.

God IS moving, I am becoming so sure of this, and if I am a fool in this, then I am trying to be a fool for Jesus…